Las Vegas
by Renegade Inspiration
Summary: 'In that moment, all she wanted was for the world to go away. But apparently, that wasn't going to happen because Wally dipsticking West was in her room or whatever room this was and was watching her sleep. "Good morning, Mrs. Grayson. Did you sleep well? Artemis- or Turdimis, as you and Dick were calling her last night- went to get every aspirin Sin City has to offer."'


_Disclaimer: Young Justice was created by the creators of Young Justice. The characters associated with Young Justice, however, belong to DC Comics. And even though I personally think the writers here on fanfiction and in various other places could do a much better job of using these characters, the characters aren't mine and probably will never become mine._

_This started off as crack, people. This started off as 4,853 words of pure crack and turned into 5,438 words of almost crack. If you want to treat it as if this as drugs you can buy off the Las Vegas Strip, be my flipping guest. But if you choose to treat this as the gospel truth, I really don't care. I, however, am going to be the writer with too many ideas running through her head and once she gets one of those ideas on paper, never touches it again._

* * *

He was dreaming.

It was a rather pleasant dream. He was in some place warm, surrounded by heaps of his favorite foods. The various aliens, clones, metas, and humans he'd come to call family were all around him, helping him devour the piles. Except for Conner, that is, because the Kryptonean had broken into a rather loud chorus of "Shiny Happy People." He could hear an odd ringing, though, and it was starting to block out Conner's singing.

He really liked that song, too…

Something suddenly whacked him in his dream. There was another whack. Conner's singing was disappearing. The mountains of food were being devoured by aliens. Something whacked him again. Then, someone exclaimed loudly, "WALLY!"

He was jolted awake. "Huh- wha?" He muttered sleepily.

"Wally, get the damn phone!" Artemis exclaimed, hitting him with her pillow. The phone explained the ringing in his dream, and Artemis whacking him with a pillow explained the whacks he received. That being settled, Wally rolled over and attempted to re-enter the land of the almost-dead.

"You get it…" He mumbled into his pillow. Wally has always believed that pillows have jobs, and that part of the pillow's job criteria is that they need to be able to muffle a person's voice. This pillow was doing an excellent job at that. And because of that, Artemis didn't understand him.

"Wally, either you get that phone RIGHT NOW or I can guarantee that there will be no form of love making happening in this apartment for a month." Artemis whacked him again.

The whack Artemis gave him was unnecessary- the prospect of no sex for a month was enough to force the tired speedster out of bed and into the living room where they kept the phone. Why was the phone still ringing? Couldn't it just go to voicemail and be done?

"Who is this? It's… 2:37 in the morning. Whatever the hell you want, get it out _now_…" Wally growled into the phone. He wasn't happy. Not one bit…

"WILLY? 'S DAT YOU? WIIIIIIIILLLY!" A voice screamed into his ear. Wally's hand instantly yanked the phone away from it's position against Wally's face. He could still hear the man screaming with the phone a good yard away. "WIIIIIILLY! C'MON MAN, I GOTTA SOCK TA WILLY!"

Three words ran through Wally's head: Whut. The. Hell.

Not what.

Whut.

With a 'u.' Not an 'a.' Why did they need to sock Willy? Who was Willy?

Wally carefully moved the phone closer to his face, and said carefully, "I think you have the wrong number. No one by the name of Willy lives here…"

"I'M LOOKING FOR WILLY. HIS GIRLFRIEND'S NAME'S TURDIMIS. YOU KNOW TURDIMIS? SHE'LL KNOW HOW TA GET TA WILLY…."

After they said those words, Wally instantly knew who was talking. The screaming guy on the phone was Dick Grayson. A very, very, _veeeeery_ drunk Dick Grayson.

"Dick? Is that you? Why the hell are you drunk? Where the hell did you to get drunk in the first place? Why the hell are you calling me Willy?" Wally railed off a butt load of questions- each somehow managing to contain 'the hell' in it. The only reply he got was silence. "Hello? Dick…?"

"WILLY'S YOU! BE STILL MAH BEATEN HERT!"

Whut. The. Hell.

Wally nearly put his palm to his face. His head hurt. He already had enough headache inducing things. Apparently Dick Grayson had decided to add himself to the top of that list.

Artemis was leaving in a few weeks for the mission, he had an essay do but instead of doing the essay he'd spent many glorious hours randomly browsing the internet and tumblr, he kept saying "blah blah THE HELL blah blah" when asking a question and it was starting to bug Artemis, and now Dick Grayson was screaming nonsense into the phone.

What did he do to deserve this? What?

"WILLY! PACK YA CRAP AND COME TA VEGAS A-SAP!"

"Why am I needed in Vegas? Wait, no- better question. Why are _you_ needed in Vegas?" Wally asked. He had no intention of joining Dick in Sin City, so for the moment he'd try and get as much info as possible so when Dick called hung over he could answer _some_ questions. If it weren't for the fact he was on the verge of a migraine, Wally would've congratulated himself for managing to leave out 'the hell' in his questions.

"'M NOT! ME 'ND BABS TOOK A ZETA TRIP TAH VEGAS AND WE NEED YOU' ND TERDIMIS TAH COME SO WE CAN GET MARRIED!"

What was that Wally had said about not joining Dick?

"ARTEMIS- GET UP. NOW." He yelled, dropping the phone and speeding into the bedroom. He yanked the blankets off of her, trying to urge her to get up faster.

"Ugh, Wally," She mumbled. "Give that back. I'm not in the mood for whatever new sex position you've found. I'm tired…"

"ARTEMIS. GET UP. NOW." Wally said, ignoring her sex position comment. He then proceeded to pick her up bridal style, only to dump her unceremoniously on the ground.

"What was that for?!" Artemis exclaimed, suddenly _very_ much awake. She went to smack Wally, but he was already out of reach and grabbing clothes out of their dresser.

"We need to get to Vegas. Now." Wally said. "Get dressed- we're leaving in five minutes."

"Why are we going to Vegas?" Artemis asked, rubbing her hurting butt.

"Because if we don't, Keren'll win the bet on who gets to the alter first…" Wally said, tossing clothes for Artemis to change into on the bed.

"Wait, wait, wait…" Artemis said, suddenly thinking out loud. "Karen and Mal have a bet on who'll get to the alter first- you and me, or Rob and Babs. Keren bet on Rob and Babs. And… we're going to Vegas… WALLY, I PROMISED MY MOTHER I WOULDN'T ELOPE!" Artemis threw a pillow at Wally's head. It missed- he was buzzing around the room, shoving random things into some backpack he'd found in their closet.

"Rethink that thought, but keep in mind Rob and Babs are already in Vegas." Wally said absently, quickly changing out of his own clothes.

Artemis froze. "Wait… so if Rob and Babs are already in Vegas, and if we don't get there soon, Karen'll win the bet… oh no, they aren't?" Artemis asked, her facial expression going from angry to horrified.

"They are. I'm pretty sure the League has bets on this, but between you and me, I'd rather have them exchange money a few years from now." Wally said. "Hurry up and change. We have a wedding to stop."

* * *

He was drunk.

Ain't no doubt about it.

The world had gone tipsy turvy and suddenly walking seemed like a really bad idea. Where were they walking to? He couldn't remember…

And then it all kinda clicked…

He and Babs were walking to the casino's wedding chapel. They were going to wait outside so Willy and Turdimis could show up and be their bridesmaid and best man. Not necessarily in that order…

"If they don't show up within fifteen minutes, I think we should just forget them and just go for it." Babs said from beside him. It came out a lot more slurred, but because he was drunk, he could understand her still. She was clinging to his arm and leaning most of her weight against him. Huh. Apparently he wasn't he only drunk one there.

"Me and you, Red. If they don't show up, we'll forget about them." He mumbled, kissing the top of her head. His statement came out slurred, too. Part of him was correcting his slurred grammar, and the other half was attempting to demoralize the other half. He was pretty sure that was the drunk half.

* * *

"Hey, uh, Batman…" Artemis said into the phone. It was actually the voice message machine, but she needed to call Bats. Just how Wally had Bats' number, Artemis will never know. "Uh, just calling to uh say… that um… Nightwing and Batgirl took a trip to Vegas and are currently on their way to the alter a big faster than anyone expected. We're currently in the middle of trying to stop the wedding, so uh, don't worry… too much.

"Oh, and um, if we don't get there in time, we're sorry…"

She hung up the phone and proceeded to call another number while Wally sped them to the nearest zeta tube. "Hey, uh, Karen. Ummm… well, let's just say that you might win that bet about who'll get to the alter first, because…um, Nightwing, Babs, and Vegas just aren't a good mix…"

* * *

Five minutes.

Willy and Turdimis had five minutes before he and Babs would just get it over with. If the two didn't make it, then they'd just go and party with them after. Hey, maybe he and Babs could convince their friends to get married as well.

Yeah, that sounded like a good idea…

* * *

"WHICH CASINO ARE THEY AT?"

"HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW? I WAS TRYING TO GET YOU OUT OF BED!"

"UGH, JUST LOOK FOR A FANCY ONE THAT ROB WOULD BE WILLING TO SPEND MONEY AT!"

* * *

Two minutes.

Tick tock.

* * *

"CALL HIM!"

"I'M TRYING, DAMN IT!"

"TRY HARDER!"

* * *

The phone rang. Dick answered casually with a, "Hello, my name is Dick. How can I be of service?" Of course, it came out more like, "'ELLO, MAH NAME'S DICK. WHAT DAH HELL DO YAH WANT?"

Hmm. Speaking with Barbara was easier. Maybe it was because she was drunk, and he was drunk, so it was like they were both speaking Spanish while everyone spoke German. Or something like that.

Apparently the half trying to fix his slurred grammar was trying to think technically. The other half of him was busy demoralizing and destroying everything in its path to actually give a damn.

"Willy! It's you! Where are you? We're waiting outside Caesar's Palace's chapel…"

Which, of course, came out more like, "WIILLY! 'S YOU! HURRY UP! CAESAR'S PALACE DOES WALK INS!"

The only reply he got was: "THEY'RE AT CAESAR'S PALACE! MOVE! MOVE!"

* * *

They half ran, half stumbled through Caesar's Palace's front doors.

His first thought: WOAH. Greek.

Her first thought: Why is that statue naked?

Together, they continued to attempt to locate the chapel.

* * *

"Hey Dick,"

"Yeah Babs?"

"Fifteen minutes are up. You still want to wait?"

"Nah, we'll just meet up with them after…"

"Okie dokie."

* * *

On a completely unrelated subject and on the opposite side of the country, Karen decided three in the morning was a completely reasonable time to check her messaging machine. Besides, someone had gone to the trouble of leaving a message at this time, so she could go to the trouble of hearing the message at this time.

"Hey, uh, Karen. Umm… well, let's just say that you might win that bet about who'll get to the alter first, because… um, Nightwing, Babs, and Vegas just aren't a good mix…" Artemis' voice said on the machine. And while Karen was somewhat tired, because, you know, it was three in the morning, she let out a loud whoop.

"TAKE THAT, MAL! BOO-YAH! TEN BUCKS IS _MINE!_"

* * *

The man at the front desk had been very helpful with helping them choose a theme and then directing them to the respective rooms where clothing was kept. They'd chosen a Batman theme because it was the easiest way to get Bruce there without calling him. They _would've_ called him, it's just that Dick couldn't remember the Manor's phone number. He only managed to call Wally because he accidentally hit the 'three' on his phone's speed dial.

Dick wound up in some odd Robin-At-A-Wedding thing, while Babs ended up in some weird combination of Batgirl and a wedding dress. Or, at least, what they _hoped_ was supposed to be Batgirl and a wedding dress.

Needless to say, they both managed to be pleased in their drunken states.

They exited from their respective rooms in their not-so-respective outfits and were greeted by a fat priest dressed up like Batman. Eh, he looked just like Bruce- even if he was a little (or a lot) on the chubby side.

Dick knew the priest wasn't an actual church priest. Vegas weddings weren't religious, so the 'priests' said something along the lines of, "Hey, wanna get hitched? Cool, kiss her and sign here."

But, Dick was too drunk to really care.

* * *

"EXCUSE ME, WHERE'S THE WEDDING CHAPPEL? WE NEED TO STOP A WEDDING!"

"Oh, it's just on the other side of the casino."

"THANK YOU."

* * *

"Do you, Robin, take Batgirl to be your ass-kicking wife?" Bats/The priest asked.

"Sure, why not?"

"Do you, Batgirl, take Robin to be your hot-assed husband?" Bats/The priest continued.

"Yep."

"Cool, kiss her and sign here."

Told you.

* * *

"NOOOOOOO! STOP! YOU'RE MAKING A HORRIBLE MISTA- hey, where'd they go?" Wally and Artemis screamed nearly simultaneously as they burst thought the chapel's doors. They were greeted by a fake fat priest dressed up in what they thought was supposed to be an Elvis get up while two complete strangers tried to not fall over from alcohol consumption.

"Looking for a drunken couple? The groom's a tall, black haired guy while the bride has red hair?" Elvis asked. They both nodded. "You just missed them. They signed the contract and ran off to their hotel room."

Wally and Artemis groaned. They were too late.

* * *

12 HOURS LATER

* * *

Her head hurt. A lot. Why did her head hurt?

She was on a comfy mattress. A really comfy mattress. Why was she on a comfy mattress?

Something warm was snuggled against her. Something really warm. Or someone…?

Babs' eyes shot open at the thought of sharing a bed with someone. That wasn't a good idea. Sharing a bed was _never_ a good idea.

The tiny movement of opening her eyes made her head hurt more than it already did. And the light didn't help considering how bright the room was.

So, since she was temporarily blinded, she settled for feeling around the bed. She froze when she realized she wasn't wearing any clothing under the covers. When she found that her apparent snuggle buddy wasn't wearing clothes, she nearly screamed.

It was enough motivation to get her to roll over to face her snuggle buddy- she groaned the entire time- and open her eyes. It hurt. A lot. She'd be willing to bet that hell felt _just like that_, but at the moment the only thing of her concern was finding _just who she'd slept with._

She was greeted by a snoring Dick Grayson.

"Oh no…"

"Oh yes," A new voice said. Babs groaned. Then, she pulled the covers up even farther than they'd already been. She attempted to sit up, but her head just wasn't prepared for that. So, she settled for staring at the ceiling.

In that moment, all she wanted was for the world to go away. But apparently, that wasn't going to happen because Wally _dipsticking_ West was in her room (or whatever room this was) and was watching her sleep. "Good morning, Mrs. Grayson. Did you sleep well? Artemis- or Turdimis, as you and Dick were calling her last night- went to get every aspirin Sin City has to offer."

Sin City? Turdimis? _Mrs. Grayson?_

Babs started to feel her heart speed up, which meant she was on the verge of freaking out. So, Babs did one of the things she did best.

She thought things out.

First off- Sin City. Las Vegas. The valley in the middle of the Mojave Desert. 'The meadows' when translated from Spanish into English.

Turdimis- If she and Dick (she'd get to freaking out in a moment) were in Vegas, chances are they'd gotten drunk. _Very_ drunk. They'd probably been trying to say 'Artemis' but had slurred her name out _a lot._

Mrs. Grayson- alright, here's where she began to freak out.

MRS. GRAYSON?

"Oh, hell no…" Barbara murmured.

"Oh, hell yes…" Wally replied in a forced cheer. "So, did you know over eight of the League's members had bets on you two? And so did Mal and Karen?" Wally began. When Babs didn't say anything, he continued. "No? Well, they all had this best on whether or not Artemis and I would get married before you and Dick. Karen had bet on you two. Guess what? She won."

Babs' mind was not computing this. It was too busy trying not to explode. She'd gotten married. _She'd gotten married. __**She'd gotten married. **__**She'd gotten married. SHE'D GOTTEN MARRIED!**_

"Wait, so… let me get this straight… Dick and I somehow wound up in Vegas-"

"-You guys took a zeta tube," Wally interrupted.

"Okay, so we took a zeta tube to some casino-"

"-Caesar's Palace."

"Alright, so we took a zeta to Caesar's Palace where we ended up drunk." Babs paused, just in case Wally wanted to add anything.

"Oh, no- you can continue." He said with a gesture.

"And… in our drunken state… we somehow decided to get married…"

"The guy at the front desk told us you had a Batman themed one. You've got a certificate and everything. According to the State of Nevada, Richard and Barbara _Grayson_ are a married couple. But yeah, that sums it up. See why Artemis went drug shopping?"

"Wally, we're in Sin City, the capitol of Hell. Do you know how messed up that sounds?"

"Oh, I do. I just really don't care right now, because she'll be back soon and you need to get dressed." Wally said. He checked his wrist as if it was a watch- there wasn't anything there- and sighed. "You've got five minutes. How about I hide while you go to the bathroom to change, and then I'll wake up your hubby and spread the gospel cheer?"

Hubby. Oh hell. It was finally sinking in. Sure, she'd understood that she and Dick had somehow gotten married, but it hadn't clicked with her that she was no longer single.

She'd gotten married to Dick Grayson. If all the evidence she had was correct, she'd had sex with Dick Grayson. She wasn't even twenty yet, and she'd already managed to elope.

She didn't know what scared her more- the fact that she was married, or the fact that she couldn't even remember any of it.

And then there was the whole thing with Wally being in their hotel room, when both of the people in bed were obviously very naked underneath their covers. And of course, Artemis had been here, too.

Oh hell- her best girlfriend had been in this hotel room when she and her… husband… were sleeping. And her… husband's… best guy friend had been here, too. Unless…

"Wally, please tell me this is a suite or something paid for by Bruce…"

"Actually, I think he own this place. And I'm pretty sure this is the equivalent of the honeymoon suite. I'm not sure- it might be bigger."

Okay, so maybe their best friends hadn't seen them drunk and completely out of control inside the bedroom… they'd probably only heard it from the living room…

"Here, how about I leave. You can sort things out with Dick yourself. I'll have Artemis leave the drugs on the counter, okay?" Wally said, recognizing the thought process etched across Barbara's face. "Try not to kill him."

Babs didn't say anything as Wally left her and… her husband… alone.

Oh hell.

* * *

It must've been a bad night. His head hurt- a _lot_. What freaks have Nightwing tangled up with that can cause _this_ level of headache? If his head didn't hurt so much, Dick would've realized that just about _all_ of the freaks he'd tangled up with could cause this level of headache. But he didn't, so he just moaned and groaned on whatever bed he'd managed to pass out on.

"Artemis got just about every brand of aspirin and headache medication this town has to offer…" A voice said. "I don't even want to _think_ about how many drugstores she had to go to get all of this. I'm pretty sure Nevada has a limit on how much you can buy…"

It took him a moment, but Dick finally realized the voice belonged to his best girl-friend. Not girlfriend. Two words. Not one. He wished it was one, but it wasn't. So, for now, he'd remain the King of Wishful thinking.

Hey… wasn't there a song by that name?

"Babs?" Dick groaned, attempting to open his eyes and roll over.

Nope. Bad idea. Nuh-uh.

"I wouldn't try that. It hurts. _A lot._" Babs said. "I'd offer to help, but my arms aren't exactly useful yet…"

So, apparently he wasn't the only one who had a bad headache. Maybe it was Nightwing and Batgirl who tangled up with someone…

Dick ignored her advice and still tried to sit up. Or at least roll over. He was on his side, and from the sound of it, Babs was behind him. If he could at least roll over, then he'd be able to see her.

His head felt like someone _really_ heavy was sitting on it while Killer Croc whacked his head with his tail.

"What happened?" Dick groaned. He'd managed to roll over, but Babs wasn't there. Where'd she go?

"Uh… about that…" Babs said from the foot of the bed. "Well, uh… um…" Babs was stuttering and she was avoiding the question. That was _never_ good.

"Babs… just tell me." Dick said, rolling on to his back. He finally got a good look at Barbara, along with the bed, and the room.

Babs was wrapped in a sheet. From what he could see, she was _only_ wrapped in a sheet.

The bed was a mess. From what he could tell, Babs' sheet had come from the bed. He could tell because underneath the fancy comforter, he couldn't feel any sheets other than the one that covered the mattress. The comforter was rumpled. He could only feel one pillow, and it was the one beneath him.

And lastly, the room. If he'd thought that the bed was a mess, then he should've looked at the room first. Based off of the architecture and furniture, he was fairly certain that the room was a hotel room. There was the furniture and doors you'd expect to be in a hotel room, but various items of… _clothing_… were scattered in various places.

After noticing this, it took Dick all of a second to realize he was naked. "Babs… why am I naked? Why are we in a hotel room? Where are my… your… _our_ clothes?" He asked. The questions jolted him up to a sitting position.

About two seconds after the questions left his mouth, Dick managed to figure out the answer. The clothes scattered throughout the room belonged to _them_.

"Um… well, you see…" Babs began. She moved to sit on the end of the bed, keeping the sheet wrapped tightly around her. "Okay, I honestly don't know. I woke up here… in the bed… and Wally was here… and he said some stuff…"

"So, you don't know how we got here? Where _is_ here?"

"No, no, no- I know the answers to the questions! Wally told me, but… well, you might not exactly like the answers…" Babs said, blushing a very deep red. "Here, I've got something that _should_ explain it. I found it in the living room…" Babs got up and went to pick up a piece of paper from in front of the TV.

Swallowing, she handed him the piece of paper.

Dick nearly screamed. And while he didn't scream, his blood _did_ run cold.

The paper was a _marriage certificate_. And _his name_ along with _Babara's name_ occupied the spaces for bride and groom. "You're kidding. Please tell me this is a joke. Wally is messing with us. Oh my God, it's the official seal for the State of Nevada. Please tell me it's fake. Oh God, it's not. It's in the fancy foiling and everything. Oh my God, this thing is real. It can't be real. Is it real?"

"It's not fake…" Babs said quietly. "The way Wally said it, we both decided to take a trip to Vegas. He doesn't know everything, but somehow we ended up drunk… like, _really_ drunk… and ended up eloping. The only reason he knows is because you called him last night, saying that Artemis and him needed to come." Babs explained everything else quietly, not meeting his eye once.

There wasn't much else to say, other than according to the State of Nevada, she was now Mrs. Richard Grayson and was his wife.

Dick didn't say anything for a while. His mind was too busy trying to understand that he'd married his best girl-friend. Would that technically make her his girlfriend? No, that made her his wife. Oh God, he wasn't even twenty. And from what Babs said, _everyone_ knew. Multiple members of the League _and_ Team had bets on this. And now, everyone was going to know.

They must've sat in a tense silent for nearly an hour. They both were obviously thinking about this new… _arrangement_… of theirs. Babs was probably thinking about her dad and college. Dick thought about his foster father as well, but he thought of a lot of other things. How was this going to work? He was pretty sure they couldn't get a divorce when they hadn't even been married for twenty four hours…

And then, a thought crossed Dick's mind. Did he want a divorce? He cared about Babs- he'd always imagined them getting married and them having kids together. Wally was always telling him that he should just tell her how he felt. But there was the whole thing with Kaldur, Artemis, and the Light, and Dick wouldn't be able to tell Babs about it.

But the thought remained. Did he want a divorce?

"Babs…" He said suddenly. Babs looked at him from her perch on the end of the bed. Ignoring how much it made his head hurt, he moved closer to her, sitting right next to her. One of her hands held the sheet close around her body, the other rested on her thigh. Dick took this hand into his. "You know…" He said quietly, "I'd always imagined us getting married and starting a family. I just… I never imagined it would happen this way…"

He couldn't recognize the look that passed across her eyes. She didn't say anything for a moment. Finally, though, she licked her lips, and said quietly, "I've always imagined it, too."

A small smile passed across Dick's face. The same smile passed across Barbara's face. Neither of them said anything. Simultaneously, though, they both leaned in towards each other. Husband and wife shared a kiss- a _real_ kiss.

Not one influenced by alcohol.

A _real_ kiss.

* * *

They'd eventually managed to make their way back to their home in Palo Alto, tired and wanting nothing more than to sleep. Both Wally and Artemis had been awake for much longer periods at some time or another, but they both agreed to stay awake until that night so they'd get back on a somewhat normal sleep schedule.

Sitting on the couch, they conversed quietly.

"What do you think they'll do?" Wally asked quietly.

Artemis shrugged. "I'm not sure… but you seem to have an idea."

Wally raised his eyebrows slightly. "I've known them both a long time. Whether they'll admit it or not, they've both got feelings for each other. And if I know Rob the way I think I know him, he won't want a divorce."

"But… what about everything with the Light?" Artemis asked. Barbara was a good friend. Artemis considered Babs to be one of her best girlfriends. She wasn't sure how Babs would take such a deception.

Wally shrugged. "They'll make it work." Wally sighed. "Look, I don't know what they're going to do. I just know that whatever it is they end up doing, I'll support them."

Artemis stared straight ahead and nodded. "And I'll be right there with you."

* * *

They eventually came to an agreement.

They'd make this work. They weren't going to get a divorce- _yet_. If they found that things just _weren't_ working out, they'd file the paperwork.

Secretly, though, Dick promised himself he'd make this work. He didn't want a divorce. And he'd do whatever he could to make sure Barbara didn't want one either.

Later on, they'd both remember what happened that night. They'd remember discussing in the Batcave how they'd both always wanted to see Las Vegas, Dick suggesting that they should go and see some stuff- just so they could both say they'd been, and them eventually walking into Caesar's Palace. They'd remember someone offering them a drink, them agreeing only to have one drink, and then one drink turning into seven, eight, and nine.

They'd remember Dick stumbling over his words, asking if Babs wanted to marry him, and Babs agreeing. They'd remember Dick accidentally hitting the 'three' on his phone, Wally answering the phone, and Dick telling Wally their plans. They'd remember stumbling to the casino's chapel, listening to the poor excuse of a priest said his speech, and them sharing a long kiss before stumbling up to the suite larger than the honeymoon suite owned by Wayne Enterprises.

But that was later. Right then, they were Richard and Barbara Grayson, the newlywed couple who wanted nothing more than this new and complicated relationship to work.

* * *

_Like I said, this started off as crack. It kinda, sorta, maybe got serious near the end, but the fact remains this started off as crack. Conner singing "Shiny Happy People" won't happen, as much as I want it to. _

_A few things:_

_In Las Vegas, the wedding chapels don't typically have a church type priest. And since the weddings aren't typically religious, they can say whatever they want.. The easiest way to sum up a Vegas wedding: "Hey, wanna get hitched? Cool, kiss her and sign here." Which is why I wrote that in the story..._

_Caesar's Palace really does have naked statues. I've been there. I've seen one. Trust me, I would know. However, I don't think they have the whole Elvis wedding thing at their chapel. The big casinos in Vegas don't typically let you pick a costume and have the fake priest dress up as Elvis or something. That happens normally at the smaller, scattered wedding chapels throughout the valley. But, we're going to ignore that for the sake of crack, 'kay?_

_As for Bruce owning the honeymoon suite or whatever it is I said, don't look at me. I was trying to find a way to make it seem like Wally and Artemis weren't... watching... them while they were busy with the birds and the bees. _

_I think that's everything._

_-Renegade Inspiration_

_Live long and prosper, my friends._


End file.
